Gravity Defying Box of Metal Death
by Skye Maxwell
Summary: The title, plus other fun and unnecessary things! Nudge sees a large building that makes her flip out, Fang undermines Max's authority yet again, Gazzy and Iggy engage in an epic battle, & Max gets claustrophibic. And what? Er- Chicken McNuggets? Oneshot.


**Hello, darling reader peoples!  
This story was written specially for Alice's Writing Contest on Maximum-X.  
It was fun to write, and I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

It was fourteen days into January, and so far, I hadn't broken my New Year's resolution.

Don't laugh, it was a major accomplishment for me.

What was my resolution, you ask?

And I quote, "I will not strangle Gazzy, no matter how annoying he may get as he delves into the age of immaturity also known as being a boy."

Don't get me wrong, I love the kid. He's sweet and adorable and has a pretty good sense of humor for an eight-year-old, but _sometimes… _Sometimes, he's just such a _guy_.

I blame Iggy for influencing him.

It was mid-morning, and we were flying on the outer edges of a suburban area, above the clouds, so that we wouldn't be seen. It had snowed two days before, but the last traces of white had been obliterated hours ago with the arrival of the sun. Still, it was pretty dang cold, especially at such a high altitude.

Then, the worst thing possible happened. I spotted the huge building just nanoseconds after Nudge did, but it was already too late.

"Max!" Nudge squeaked in excitement. "It's a mall! Can we go? Please, please, please? Pretty please, Max?"

"No," I said sternly as she caught up to me and flew by my side.

"Please? We need some new clothes and some coats because it's really, really cold, and it'll be fun, and I promise I'll be good, and Gazzy and Angel will too, and Total and Akila can stay at a park or something, and please?"

I would not be won over so easily. "When I grow my third leg, we can. But until then, no. Never."

"Could you actually do that, Max?" Iggy asked. "That would be awesome. I bet I'd be the only blind human-avian hybrid within a two-hundred foot radius who could say that I had a friend with wings, three legs, and an ocean-sized ego."

"Which ocean?" Gazzy asked with a would-be adorable smile that made my blood boil a little hotter than it already was.

"Pacific, definitely," said a deep voice from my left.

_Fang._

"Ooh. Icy. Frigid. Hardcore. I like it," Iggy said.

I decided not to waste my death glare on Iggy and directed it at Fang.

"What?" he said in a normal tone, as if the death glare was unwarranted.

"Pacific? That's the biggest ocean there is!"

"I know," he replied casually.

My ego was not that big! He was supposed to be on _my _side. Ugh. Guys.

I was going to have to get him for that later.

"Fang? Can we go to the mall? Pretty please? Max doesn't want to, but we need new clothes, and it's cold, and it'll be fun…" Nudge rambled, daring to question my authority.

"Sure."

With one simple word, he had completely changed our plans and undermined me.

Before I had a chance to argue, the kids all cheered and angled their wings to make a landing. Iggy, who was carrying Akila, followed. Fang was about to when I grabbed his arm.

"What was that?" I asked angrily.

"What was what?"

"I already told her no, you can't just give in like that!"

"Just let the kids have some fun, Max. If something goes wrong, we'll U and A. Relax."

"Relax?"

"Yes, Max, relax. Maybe we should get a pocket dictionary while we're in there."

I ignored that last part. "Fine, we'll go, but if you try and pull anything else like this, I will personally kill you and turn you into Chicken McNuggets."

"Deal," he said, removing my hand from his arm and flying downwards.

* * *

What are the chances that every stinking escalator in a single mall could be broken?

Not good!

Just my luck.

I'd thought Total would put up a fight when threatened to be left at the park, but the little goofball was ecstatic to have some alone-time with Akila. Gimme a break.

So there we were, six frumpy kids with wings tucked into floppy windbreakers, cramped in a tiny elevator.

_Great._

I tried not to lose my cool, but I was admittedly failing. I hate small, confined spaces. Growing up in a dog crate will do that to a person. Iggy and Gazzy were having some ridiculous argument. They sounded just like the young couple in front of us, who just so happened to also be engaged in an argument.

"You never listen to me!" the woman cried.

"What?"

"Exactly! You are such a snarky jerkface! You don't love me!"

"Monica, are you PMS-ing?"

Uh-oh. As if this wasn't already awkward enough.

"Max, what's that mean?" Angel asked innocently.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any more awkward…

"Um, it's nothing, sweetie. It's probably one of those weird texting words, like 'jk' or something."

It was the best I could come up with on short notice.

"So what if I am?" Monica yelled. "I hate you!"

_Ding._

The elevator stopped, and Monica and I burst out of the door, for our respective reasons.

The flock caught up, and Fang placed a hand on my shoulder. "Relax."

I shrugged his hand off and started walking, wanting to put distance between me and the gravity-defying box of metal death.

"Hey Max, I bet I can beat Iggy at charades," Gazzy told me.

Is that what they were arguing about?

"I bet you your lucky purple socks that you can't."

No one could beat Iggy at charades. Not possible.

"Fine!" Gazzy said, glowering with the grotesque male need to prove himself through competition.

"Right here, right now," I said, trying not to smirk.

Fang grabbed my elbow and whispered, "Are you crazy?"

"It'll be fun, Fang. _Relax." _

Man, it's fun being me sometimes.

Iggy clapped his hands together. "Fabulous! I shall destroy the little man in front of an audience. Let's go, Gasman."

Nudge rolled her eyes. "Not again."

Within five minutes, Iggy had the Gasman beat and completely demoralized.

The small crowd that had gathered around gave their last cheers for Iggy and slowly began to move away.

I looked at Gazzy, and I felt sorry for him. Sure, I knew he wouldn't win, but hey, I'm not heartless.

I went over and kneeled beside him.

"Max, I'm hungry. Can we go get something to eat?" He was trying to change the subject.

"Only if I get the socks."

He reluctantly reached to unzip his backpack, but I stopped him.

"I'm just kidding, Gazzy. I would never take your lucky purple socks."

He smiled at me, and I pulled him into a big hug, glad that my little guy was acting human again. If only it could last…

"You're not like the Pacific Ocean, Max. More like the Arctic." He smiled again and began walking toward the food court.

"But that one's the coldest," I muttered as I stood up, but he didn't hear.

"Exactly," Fang said at my side, as the others hungrily followed Gazzy.

"Jerk," I said, giving him a small shove as I turned to follow the flock.

I smiled, but I tried to not let Fang see it.

"So, Fang…"

He looked at me questioningly.

"What are you in the mood for? I think I'll get some Chicken McNuggets…"

* * *

**Ah ha ha.  
Yay. Fun.  
I do not own Chicken McNuggets... or the Pacific Ocean.  
Or the Arctic Ocean, but I'm working on that one. ;)  
By the way, these were the contest requirements:  
****  
**Everyone has to have one speaking line, must be in a point of view (don't care whose...).  
Topic: January. In general.  
100- 1200 words.  
No M. At all.  
Don't get super mushy. Ew.  
Must partially take place in an elevator.  
No OCs, no major OOC.

MUST include:  
"When I grow my third leg, we can. But until then, no. Never."  
"Max, what's that mean?"  
"Bet I can beat Iggy at charades."  
"Only if I get the socks."  
"Ooh. Icy. Frigid. Hard core. I like it."  
And the words purple, frumpy, snarky, and fabulous.

**Well, there you have it. If you want something more in-depth, check out one of my other stories.  
Thanks for reading, and please review.**

**Much love,  
-Skye**


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